I used to.

Teach me how to laugh again.
Because I swear I can remember if you just teach me how.
The ABC's didn't come out right the first fifty times I sang it.
Because LMNOP were five letters instead of one.
Because the boys never knew how to ask me to dance.
Because I never knew what constituted 0 and 1.

Because I wasn't always this way.

I used to believe in yellow.
That the rainbow was named after a man who went by Roy G Biv.
Because I used to think the world was flat and I knew better than to jump.
Because I used to believe in a god.
In Santa Claus, punishment without a cause, and fairy dust.
Because I used to believe that fairy dust and sparkles were the same thing.
That Tinker Bell and the Tooth Fairy were cousins.
Because I used to believe in a world where sex was taboo.
Where the only boy who mattered was the one who taught you to tie your shoes.
Because I used to believe that hatred could move mountains the same way that faith could.
Because I used to believe red enough shoes could make kids fly.

I used to.

But it doesn't matter what I used to believe because the past doesn't make us who we are any more than the future does.

Because 1 + 1 will always equal 2.
And you will laugh at the eighties has-beens while you spend half your morning contemplating what you used to do.
Because brown was ugly no matter the day.
But you're more scared of hearing what your boss will say.

Because you swore that jealousy and envy were never the same thing, only sisters.
Because you'll praise your worn out jeans before you'll applaud the new ones.
Sorry you're not different from anyone else, hon.

But when he asked if I knew you, I just smiled that sad smile and said I used to.
Just like with everything else.